We’ve all had moments in our lives when we wished we had something – more money, fame, a different body, fancy clothes, a successful career, etc…it almost always stems from seeing that certain something attained by someone else, and it feels like a longing.

When this happens, there are two typical reactions: one is to become very excited by what we see. We use it as inspiration and become motivated to achieve a similar outcome, if not surpass it. This does happen, but to a lesser extent than the second typical reaction: a sense of longing for what we see that turns to jealousy. We compare ourselves and our lack to what we clearly are far from having, and we either feel disempowered or resentful. False ridicule of what’s wrong with having that certain something may come forth, along with excuses as to why it was achievable for others but wouldn’t be for us.

I refer to this latter reaction as wishful thinking. In this case, energy is wasted by wanting and wishing without any serious consideration of the desire’s attainability, much less a plan. Further energy is wasted in low-frequency thinking – the excuses, the disdain…all the meanwhile secretly pining for whatever it is. Comparison thinking and self-disempowerment also tend to accompany wishful thinking.

This sets up an interesting dichotomy; on the one hand, our energy reaches toward the desire. And on the other our energy pushes it away, either by talking poorly about it or believing that it isn’t something that could be realistically achieved.

As a result, wishful thinking is a dead end. But – it’s not the desire itself that’s a problem.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to level up, create change, or make improvements in your life. In fact, the people who are successful at doing this usually start out like everyone else, with a desire to attain something they saw elsewhere.

These people choose that first reaction – they get excited and say things like, “That’s going to be me one day,” or “I can see myself doing that.” They envision themselves in that place, and that image stays in their mind as a constant reminder of the path they seek. When someone believes they can realistically achieve something – no matter how big, outlandish, or far-fetched – their chances of success are so much greater than those of the wishful thinkers.

So if we know this, then why do so many people choose the path of wishful thinking? Why do they choose that place of disempowerment and lack of action?

Quite simply, wishful thinking is a product of fear-based thinking. Everything disempowering stems from fear. Lack of belief, not feeling worthy, not knowing what to do…these are all fear-based cognitions, and they have a way of taking over as if they are truths.

But there is proof to the contrary, of course, because in 99% of cases other people have already done the things we wish to do. We spend so much time associating with what we can’t do or achieve that we forget it’s just as easy to say, Why not me? There is usually a level of talent or knowledge required, but almost all of that is learned as well. There are very few things with which successful people are inherently born that contribute to their level of success.

If you have any wishful thinking going on, why not trade that in for envisioning? Why not allow yourself to be inspired and to become curious about what you could do, and to explore and stretch and grow? And if we're being truthful, in the greater perspective it doesn’t even matter if we actually achieve or attain those desires…it’s the path itself that holds the lessons we’re here to learn.