How can I focus or be positive when there is so much gloom surrounding me?

I feel so helpless with everything that’s going on in the world.

As a person with strong nurturing tendencies, I used to find myself out of balance energetically and otherwise when it came to others. I over-gave, often at the sacrifice of myself. Then a dear shaman friend of mine shared with me the importance of understanding the order of care:

1-Self
2-Life
3-Others

I realized I had it backwards, putting others first and myself last - if there was even anything left over.

Over time I came to understand the importance of this order in everything. It’s why I named my business Gilded Within; focusing on what’s outside of you may provide some temporary relief, but creating value and harmony on the inside is the foundation on which everything else flourishes.

We must focus on working from the inside out. Worrying about the world does the world little good when you, an equally important part of that world, are being compromised from a lack of attentional focus. 

Focus on yourself first. 

But isn’t that selfish? 

No! It is the most important thing you can do. Imagine a roof with a hole in it. Do you pay attention to all the other houses and their condition before paying attention to repairing the hole in your own roof? Of course not. 

You don’t need to be focused on fixing the homes of others if your own home is falling apart.

If you are not balanced mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, then you are the hole. If you don’t take care of yourself, soon you won’t be able to help anyone. This doesn’t mean you must be in “perfect” condition before you can be of service to others, but you must be your own priority, actively working on care for yourself. Only then can you serve others best. 

After care for yourself comes care for life. That means children and animals who are dependent on you and any life being threatened when there is something you can do about it. 

Then comes care for others, again working from what is closest to you out. A significant other, family, friends, community, etc. Don’t ignore what’s right in front of you because it’s not a news story. Again, this isn’t to say that you can’t give attention to something farther out. You just can’t prioritize it over what is closer to you and stay in balance.
 
Imagine your circles from a percentage perspective each day. If the biggest percentage goes to you, how could you accommodate this? Don’t use a busy schedule as an excuse - we can always make time for ourselves, even if it’s just in our minds. One of the best ways to keep yourself in the center is to practice self-love, a highly overlooked yet essential part of well-being. 

If events outside of your inner-most circles are pulling your energy, here are some ways you could address this without sacrificing your own order of care:

-Share factual, helpful information. Try to avoid creating more chaos by sharing things that promote blame or side-taking.

-Volunteer some time toward a cause. Be sure it is not more than what allows you to take care of your Self, Life, and close Others circles first.

-Make a tangible or monetary donation. Again, not more than what allows you to prioritize the proper order of care.

-Spend time in prayer or meditation creating a flow of positive energy toward the event(s). This is different from asking for what you might want- ask for what is best.

-Offer a special / discount for those affected by tragic circumstances. If you work for someone else, see if there is something your company could offer. 

Your awareness of the order of care can significantly affect not only your own well-being but also your ability to continue contributing in a powerful and meaningful way. Start with you, always.