“This isn’t working for me.”

He was shocked. I can’t blame him, really. I called my boyfriend at the time out of the blue and told him that I was ending our relationship.

I was sitting in my apartment reading The Artist’s Way and I read a line that went something like “Things are acceptable to you until they’re not. And if you’re still doing them, then they’re acceptable to you.” 

It woke me up like a slap in the face. I had been disillusioned by my boyfriend’s behavior for months. He was a great guy in a fun, artistic way, but he was irresponsible, immature, and needy. He was like a sinking ship, and I was going down with him.

That’s not what I wanted from a partner. So why was this acceptable to me? It wasn’t - and I realized by staying in the relationship for one minute longer, I was saying that it was indeed acceptable. So I put the book down, called him, and ended the relationship.

That event was pivotal - it was the moment I realized that how I felt meant nothing without action. What we say, what we feel, what we mean to do…it doesn’t mean anything without action.

If you want to move forward, you have to ask the right questions.

Not all questions are created equal. What do you do for a living? What’s important to you? What are your goals for next year?

None of the answers are important because those questions don’t really matter. Take the last question - coming up with a list of goals isn’t that difficult. I can say that I’m going to climb a mountain - that doesn’t mean I’ll do the necessary work to make it happen. You have to ask quality questions if you want to get somewhere.

The answer to the following question matters, and it will forever change your course of action:

What is acceptable to me?

Is your workload acceptable? Your income? The way people in your life treat you, is that acceptable? Your health regimen, your morning routine, your motivation level - are they acceptable? Is it acceptable to you to let fear run parts of your life?

When you understand that things are acceptable to you until they’re not, you’ll start to realize how much you’re not doing to change something that you only say is unacceptable. 

When something truly is unacceptable to you, then you will make a shift in your life. You will let go of things that are not in service to your Greater Good and you will think and act and work in new ways that take you toward what you want. Making shifts is not always easy, but it will still feel good because it will feel right. It will feel in alignment with your true authenticity.

Take a moment right now and think about something (or someone) in your life you’re not thrilled about that’s within your control. Ask yourself why that’s acceptable to you. This is a choice point - you will either decide that it is acceptable and do nothing or you will decide it’s truly unacceptable and you will decide to make a shift.

Please note: There’s no wrong answer - if you decide to do nothing, it’s ok, it just means that nothing changes. You don’t evolve or move forward right now in that way. That’s up to you.

What will you decide today?